This just in.

There are still unanswered questions, but the preliminary biopsy results are in, and the lymph node under my arm was cancerous.

This is not surprising news -- in fact, it's expected news -- but it's nonetheless disappointing.

The thought had crossed my mind that perhaps the cancer diagnosis was a horrible mistake. I didn't dwell on that thought. I didn't hold the idea in my hand and polish it and admire it. In fact, it was more like a hot rock I'd fling away, because the last thing I wanted was more disappointment. Still, it was there.

After the nice surgeons said that my lymph nodes were unremarkable, and that the samples didn't have the appearance of cancer, I began to think: Hmmm. Well... suppose the lymph nodes were swollen because I had a cold.

And perhaps what looks like cancer in my sternum is actually an old injury that hasn't healed.

And the spots on my lungs... maybe if they didn't already assume that I had cancer, they'd think those spots were something else!

But now we know -- for sure, for sure -- that there is breast cancer in my body. It's not a mere opinion. It's petri-dish-true. It's inarguable. It's just-the-facts-ma'am and the fact is: hopefully, a few good years.

So.

Now we're waiting to learn the true character of this cancer. Will it be estrogen receptor positive, which comes with the hope that hormonal therapy will be effective.? Or, we will it be estrogen receptor negative, which comes packaged with fewer options. Or, just one option. In a word, chemotherapy.

It'll be a few days before we know.

So... here I am... none the wiser, but still & oddly a bit more sad. Go figure.

And a trip to pack for, to boot!