Friday Night

Eric and I came home yesterday afternoon. It was a wonderful vacation... as close to perfect as a holiday can be, I think.

This afternoon we went to Kaiser, and I had my infusion and injections. I'm a human pin cushion tonight, with bandaids here and there. Vacation is better than cancer treatment (which you probably already knew).

A few pics

The view from our porch -- we love that ocean!


There are beaganvillas everywhere, in a rainbow of colors... scarlet, peach, purple, and even white!


The entertainment is really something! This "fantasy" show was a Mexican Cirque du Soleil and Vaudeville.


Strange tree!


More pretty flowers. Even the hedges are flowering and gorgeous.



The prettiest thing here is the sign which proclaims an adult-only pool!


Mas floras.


Que grande!



There are many pretty, breezy, places to sit -- benches, and open air lobbies, and chairs overlooking the sea.

Bananas, anyone?

Monday

It's Monday and we're still enamored of this place and this beach. Today we're dragging ourselves away from the resort to take a drive into Mismaloya, where Night of the Iguana was filmed. Eric has many memories of the beach there.

One of the cool things about this place that I forgot to mention is that Americans are in the minority here. The Americans are few and far between (and mostly from Texas). Most of the guests are Mexican or Canadian, and most of the staff speaks little English. Because of this our Spanish is getting a workout and that's nice.

Some of the staff have asked my handsome, tanned, husband if he's from Mexico. I'll never understand it, but Eric's Spanish has a way of fooling folks. Just another example of Eric's magic.

We've both been reading a lot. I've finished two books and I'm half way through a third. Sadly, I forgot to bring the final book of a trilogy I'm reading. I think that could be the only thing I DIDN'T pack. I have waaaay too many clothes.

Saturday

I don't know when I'll be able to post this, but I'm writing on Saturday evening.

I don't know where to begin! We arrived on Thursday afternoon, after a three hour flight from SFO. Janis was nice enough to take us at the crack of dawn -- us and our many, giant, bags -- and the flight went well. I sometimes dread air travel. Sometimes I don't, but sometimes I do. Our flight to Puerto Vallarta was trouble-free... we sat next to a nice, 82 year old woman. She was a pleasant companion. Also: our Alaska Airline flight only offered pay-for-it-yourself food service. My ham-and-cheese sandwich exceeded expectations. It was a good start!

The airport in Puerto Vallarta was air conditioned and efficent. Eric gamely avoided a few sales pitches and in no time we were in our rental car, making a perilous, confusing, U-turn on the main drag that would lead us to our resort.

And here we are!

We love it... absolutely love it. We spent all day Friday and today on the beach and in the ocean, which is no more than 120 feet from our room (the water, not just beach). The room is more than adequate, with tiled floors that the very thorough maid mops daily (no sand), and television with American programming options, and a shower that kicks ass. The water pressure ROCKS. And did I mention that we're right on the beach?

The ocean couldn't be more perfect. It's soooo warm. There's not a brrr or a goosebump. I dive right in, and I'm a notoriously slow water getter inner.

And the waves are wonderful. In the morning the ocean is glassy flat, except for soft, perfectly formed, waves that are just the thing for body surfing. As the day goes on the waves become bigger and the water choppier. Eventually the waves become serious enough that you don't want to turn your back on them. I was tumbled just once, and I'll make sure that doesn't happen again.

We've been on the beach for two days, spending (literally) hours in the water. I mean, serious hours. We read in the lounge chairs under our favorite palapa. Needless to say, we've found our SPOT. There's an afternoon nap in our air conditioned room, as well.

it's just perfect.

There are more pools than I've ever seen before... giant, ornately shaped pools, but I haven't stuck a toe in one yet. Why bother, with the beach right outside our door?

There are also bars everywhere, and the cocktails are good, but we haven't had many.

The food is entirely adequate and occasionally good. They have the best vanilla ice cream. And there's alaways food available... there are five restaurants, three buffets and two snack bars. Honestly, we're so taken with the beach that we haven't given the food much thought.

The only bummer is that I have a sunburn. I've used sun screen liberally, but there's not getting around the fact that my skin is meant for the bogs of Ireland, not the blazing Mexican sun.

That's all I have to report for now.

School's Out

It's hot and sunny today, and we're preparing for our flight to Mexico tomorrow. This is fun, even though we're busy.

It feels like a real summer, like when I was a kid. I'm packing cute summery clothes that I don't normally wear, and I bought a beach cover up that looks very similiar to something I owned in 1975. I'm packing multiple bath suits and sunscreen and I have a new snorkel (to go with my old mask and fins) that is superior to my last snorkel.

Last summer was wonderful. It was a real adventure, what with exploring new cities and states, and all o' that campingcampingcamping. It was very, very, good. BUT... I was two months out from a bad diagnosis, and still trying to figure out how to live while dying.

I still don't have it figured out, but I'm no longer in a fog of shock and grief.

I feel a siesta coming on...

Just a Blog

Here's a woman who's been wearing the same little brown handmade dress for nearly a year:

http://www.littlebrowndress.com/

I'd like to do that, but it would be more about laziness than art.

Good morning.

It's the last Monday of the work year, and a short one at that. I'll leave work at 3:30 to go to a departmental party.

It's going to be a bright, beautiful, day and I have plenty to keep me occupied.

Yawn

Eric's reading the paper and I'm drinking coffee and blogging -- it's definitely a Sunday morning. I slept in today -- almost until 9:00 AM -- and slept right through the start of our 5k Fun Run.

It's just as well. It's going to be a scorcher today. I probably don't want to be sitting in the bleachers of an A's game when it's so darn hot, on Father's day, and with the A's on a 9 game winning streak (and so the crowds so much heavier than usual).

Honestly, I prefer to go to A's games when they're losing.

Eric and I will walk somewhere else today, and I should really do some pre-Mexico shopping.

Last night we went to see The Fantasticks with Corinne, as Mr. Silva was on stage playing his harp. The harp was bee-you-tea-full, by far the best part of the show, and I'm not just saying that because Tom is a particular pal of mine.

I played air-harp in the audience.

What else is new?

I've had two eye exams in the last two days. Apparently, breast cancer is the most common cancer to metastacize to eyes (although it's still uncommon). My eyes are fine.

I had those crazy flying saucer pupils for a while after they dialated my eyes. I looked like I was coming home from a Dead show, although without any collateral-damage glitter on my person.

That's all I have to report on this sunny Sunday morning.

TGIFriday

I went to dinner with Janis last night while Eric attended graduation. It was nice -- cocktails and hangar steak and blue lake beans and mashed 'taters, plus the good, good, company.

Eric joined us for dessert, looking very handsome in his suit and tie.

Today is the last work day for Eric and he's happyhappyhappy.

We're attending a going away party tonight for one of Eric's co-workers who is moving to Portland. Tomorrow we're going with Corinne to see the fabulous Mr. Tom Silva play his golden harp in The Fantasticks. Sunday we're participating in a 5K Fun Run and attending an A's game afterward.

I work Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I pack. Thursday we fly to Mexico.

There are some folks at work who are suspicious that I'm traveling so much this summer. A few of them have asked me point-blank where I got the money. One has asked in a puzzled tone, "Why would you want to go on so many vacations"?

I recognize something hectic in our summer plans. I wish that I could dream of a score or two of summers ahead. I wish that I had time to do all the things I want to do, and time to rest in between.

I don't tell them that, of course. They're just blips on the radar. I have my eyes on the horizon (when I'm not happily gazing at Eric).

Work Work Work

I haven't had much to write/say lately. I'm just working, working... trying to get through this final push before vacation.

I went to Eric's school for lunch today. We sat in his room an ate tacos. He was handsome, as always. I've been thinking about how much I like being in a car with Eric -- driving to some fun destination, or driving back to the house we've loved and the life we've enjoyed.

Sometimes the best part of a vacation is getting there with Eric. We talk & talk in the car. We talk about everthing, and we talk about nothing, too. We play silly games. Eric's been kicking my ass in "I-Spy" for over a decade now. Boy, can that man spot license plates.

We list every state motto we can remember, and sing every song that has a state name in the lyric. We sing every song written by Elton John or Bob Dylan. We sing songs that have a color in their titles.

I ask Eric general knowledge questions. For instance, I might ask him to explain how a swamp cooler works. If he asks me why I want to know I always answer , "no reason". He always has an answer.

Some couples fight when they're on vacation. I think they want something different than they get at home. They want to be somewhere, or do something, that's transformative.

But I love that Eric is Eric the world over. Eric is Eric wherever we go -- devoted, smart, constant, adorable.

A week from tomorrow we'll be in Mexico. Yahoo!

How high tech is this?

I am typing this in the car. I have the technology to actually send this off through cyberspace to update my blog, as well. I'm going to try.

It's still very Tomorrowland to me.

Reno was great fun, as always. We enjoyed all of the fabulous amenities at the Atlantis Casino and Resort, every player's paradise. We gambled and gambled. Eric very nearly adopted my strategy of non-stop gambling. It was good.

I didn't do well in the tournament. I placed 31st out of 120. So, I wasn't horriblehorrible but I wasn't in the money, either. A woman won first place this year -- the first time I've seen that..

I was one of two women at my table for the second round. We were the table leaders, which was nice. All of those cigar-smoking, bolo-tie-wearing, old white man-types tanked early.

I found out on Saturday night that Jeanne had died. She was a swell gal -- someone who reached out to me and many, many, others. She was often the first to respond when I had questions about my diagnosis and worries and just plain fear & anger about my cancer diagnosis.

Jeanne was doing so well. She was stable for many years. She gave me (and many of us) hope.

Once she started progressing, it went quickly. She went from fine to dead in too few months.

So, Jeanne's dead, and I'm alive, and my turn's coming. Here husband of fifteen years said that she was comfotable and surrounded by friends and family. I guess that's another best case scenario that Jeanne represents.

That's what I'm talking about.

Shortly after we arrived this afternoon I sat down at a slot machine, fed in a twenty dollar bill, and made several 20 cent bets. Then I made a few forty cent bets. Then I looked at my remaining balance -- about eleven dollars -- and thought: what the hell? I'll make $1.50 bets with the rest of this twenty.

The next thing I knew, I'd hit a $782 dollar jackpot!

I like it when it works that way.

Eric is very handsome, and I love the Atlantis Casino and Resort, every player's paradise. My first exciting round of craps is tomorrow at noon. Wish me luck!

"Would you like that whole bean or ground?"

Customer service is customer service the world over.

This is from the blog of a 21 year old man in Singapore who answers an 800 number for an environmental health agency.

It made me laugh. "Miss Anonymous" is a woman who calls regularly with a bajillyon questions.

Yesterday was like as usual but there was this call which spark my time at work!!! This caller called to complain about his hands becoming numb after eating breakfast meal. Guess what he say after that!!!!?? "Can u all send pp go and check the place, i suspect they put SUPER GLUE to the food!!! <---*siao kia* how on earth he suddenly tot of super glue! madness!! We laugh like mad.. i argued with him. Till now i can still rmbr.. In the end, i just feedback this to the ministry of health let them laugh at the crazy guy. Fed up <*evil me*> hehe

Today, miss anonymous call again but i was too tired to bother abt her. Played dota last nite till so late that i almost sleepwalk to work. After her 15th questions, i just shut her off saying i very busy, tell her to call back later.

Luck Be A Lady

We're leaving from work today for the Atlantis Casino and Resort, every player's paradise, where I'll be competing in a craps tournament. This is a stand-alone tournament that doesn't feed into a higher level event. It's just two rounds of down-and-dirty dice. I may need to change my strategy... something to think about on the road to Reno.

We're not returning until late Sunday. In fact, we have a room for Sunday night just so we have a comfy place to be as late as we'd like on the afternoon before our last full work week.

I'm been extra busy at work, and super-special tired and sneezily at home. The other day I came home from work and took a "nap" from 5:00 til 11:00 PM. I don't recommend that.

I owe a lot of folks emails and phone calls. I've been thinking of youse guys, for sure -- don't let radio silence convince you of the contrary.

Eric looks particularly handsome this morning (for reals).

That's all!

Grumble

I am part of an online community of women who have metastatic breast cancer. The collective noun for a group of women with metastatic breast cancer should be a flagging or a waning, because we drop like flies.

Most of the cancer ladies who have blogs are Beacons of Light. They're holding out for a cure. They do those crazy 60 mile walks and raise a bazillion dollars. Their faith helps them through because it's all in God's hands, and so on. Needless to say, I can't relate.

It's rare to find a Stage IV lady who's still singing the "cancer is the best thing that ever happened to me" tune. That's typically a stage I - III phenomenon, but occasionally I'll run into a woman with mets who's still hanging onto her gratitude by a thread.

Mostly they don't bitch in public.

I haven't left for work yet on accounta I have a terrible headache. I'm going to take a OTC cocktail and give it till 8:30 to go away before I decide it's a brain tumor.

Life is fun but cancer still sucks.

Yawn

I feel a bit overwhelmed by everything I have to do between now and the start of our various summer adventures. I'm also concerned that we won't be able to do our summer stuff... that I'll be injured, or will run out of steam.

The thing is -- we have plans for every weekend day between now and September. I'm feeling superstitious. The univserse could decide that it was awfully presumptuous of me to make plans when everyone knows I'm supposed to stay home and wring my hands and wait for death.

I want to make myself small, so as not to attract the attention of the gods. The thing to do would be to whisper through my days with an expression of bland satisfaction or disinterest. But instead I'm creating all this hoopla, with my summer travels, and I wouldn't put it past the fates to fuck with me just on general principles.

I was tired yesterday and I'm tired today. I have to go to work now and think of ways to act engaged and interested when I'm really already gone.

Sunday Night

Today wasn't as productive as I would have liked, but it was a nice day. It was a typical, sunny day, hike in the east bay hills -- downdowndown and then uuuuuuuuup.

There's so much that I can do, all things considered, but of course I want to do everything. Anything less than everything feels like a gyp.

I try to remember that people don't start from the same place. I have cancer in my spine and my hip. I have cancer in my lungs. How can it be a failure to walk up a steep incline slowly?

I don't know what I think about anything. I'm glad that I can go for a hike at Huckleberry Botanical Preserve. I'm glad that it was a beautiful day. I'm immeasurably happy to have spent another Sunday with Eric. I wish I didn't have cancer.

I know that's a no-brainer, and wishing doesn't change anything.

Weekend

The Graham and Leah Bonus Visit was fun, and so was winetasting. I loved the flowers at the wineries!

Today we have end-of-weekend work-day-tomorrow type errands to run, but at some point we'll go for a hike at Huckleberry Park in the hills.

Here's a picture from yesterday:

Recap

It was a nice day, made nicer on accounta it was Friday.

Friend from Oregon, Graham and Leah, came up today... a last-minute visit. It's good to seem them.

Tomorrow we're going wine tasting with friends.

Life is good.