Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Me & my Shadow.

It's been one month since I received this awful and upsetting diagnosis. One month! It feels like a year, but I'm glad it's not been a year, a year being too great a proportion of my total life expectancy pie. (I will not do the math again. Maybe ever.)

My oncologist said, "Unfortunately, there is cancer in your sternum," on Friday, May 13th. He neglected to mention the spots on my lungs, but I think that's a typical human strategy when relaying bad news.

Anywho... I was told on Friday the 13th, and I went to work on Monday. I've missed one day of work since, for my follow up appointment with my oncologist and Eric and Jane. Other than that, I’ve been busy, busy.

I worked every work day, went for a walk at the Lafayette Reservoir, had a picnic at the Berkeley Marina; saw the final Star Wars movie, and the movie "Crash", which was a much better film. I went to the Berkeley Zen Center and sat zazen with Janis, and volunteered at the 24 Hour Tag Team Relay Race at Eric's school. Eric and I attended the Carnival parade and festival in San Francisco, and we went to a play in Berkeley with Jane and Tom. We spent the better part of a day at Golden Gate Fields, betting on horses, and traveled to Seattle for my nephew's graduation.

BTW, I wouldn't have remembered half of that stuff if not for this blog.

That's a busy month. And in all of this, I've probably not spent more than 60 consecutive minutes alone -- and that a rarity.

So, today Eric's going to work and I'm going to stay home and see what it's like to be alone with cancer with nothing to do.

If we get into a staring match, I wonder who'll blink first?

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