Yak Yak Yak

We're up and at it -- I want to stay out of Eric's hair while he reads the paper and drinks his coffee. It makes such a difference to him to be able to do those things. I, of course, just want to sit and look at him. But I won't!

I've talked about blogs with folks before. We've discussed how they're self-serving and generally boring, and I believe those adjectives can be applied to my blog, as well. But last night, while reading the previous entry, Eric laughed & laughed. He laughed because it was so true, and it was by far the lightest moment of our day. So from where I'm sitting, this blog is a great success.

This is just an intermittently uncomfortable and scary place to be. I'm so grateful for the people who have been willing and able to hang out with me here.

CN (who I do like, very much) told me yesterday that she didn't want to make me sad, but she thought that this might be a test for me. She thinks, perhaps, I am being tested to see if I appreciate living.

Because I was riding a wave of fear and dread when she said that to me, I responded a bit forcefully that I thought it was all about BIOLOGY, and as an RN was she really suggesting that my attitude was going to effect the outcome of a ct scan?

That was too much for her, and she retreated into embarrassed mumbling. She's quite a character but she's well intentioned, and I felt bad for snapping at her.

For sure there are choices to make. You can choose to look for meaning in the things that happen, or you can feel picked on and pathetic, or some combo-pak of the two.

This morning I feel jumpy and nervous.

I think I'm just yak yak yakking today, on accounta nervous energy.

That's all for now!