Post Work Yak

I went to work today -- worked six hours and left at 2:00 PM for my 2:30 radiation appointment. That falls short of my 7.5 hour work day, but that's okay. I have sick time and comp time... and when I'm out of sick time and comp time, it will still be okay.

I was tired at work and experienced some discomfort, but it was still a good choice for me to be there. Better to be productive and ouchy than home and dwelling on possibilities and impossibilites.

Still no word from oncologist or caseworker. There have been small difficulties in communication in the past. I'll admit to having been impatient (although, understandably so, I believe). This time, however, I feel that the communication has been poor. And yet -- in some ways I'm ready to let it go for the day. It some ways it seems like: enough already... enough.

I very much want to attend my mosaics class tonight. I want to grout my latest project. I will plan on attending. Eric can come pick me up before the class is over if I find it too taxing.

Here's the odd limbo -- knowing some bad stuff, not knowing all the bad stuff... trying to do what I can that is "normal", not knowing how all of that will need to be rearranged. Radiation this week. Work this week. Doctor's appointments unknown. Eric's cardiology stuff on Thursday. Mosaics class. Dinner party on Friday. Concert tickets on Saturday. Cancer, cancer, cancer... bone fractured, dilaudid consumed...

Coffee and kisses with Eric in the mornings. Narcotic sleep at night.