I went to work today, thank goodness. I'm someone who enjoys leisure time. When I didn't work for a year I wasn't bored for a moment. I couldn't tell you a darn thing I did in that year, but it was great. I like not working.
But being at home and feeling icky, and being (or at least feeling) isolated from the rest of the world is just plain no-fun-at-all. If I'm feeling under the weather I'd much rather be at work. I'd rather be productive, move around a bit, engage in a little low-level social hooey.
My job can be very busy and pleasant.
I was scheduled for chemotherapy tomorrow but I asked to be excused. I just couldn't do it. Or... I could do it, but at what cost? Just the thought of it made me want to cry.
I'm still going to the hospital, though, on accounta I have a meeting with my oncologist to go over the results of my latest ct scan. I received preliminary word already, and the word's not so hot. It's not worst-case-scenario but I don't suppose there'll be much to celebrate, either.
That's okay. I don't celebrate good scans 'cuz I don't want to cry over bad ones. If I have the oomph to celebrate I'd rather hip hip hooray for my darling husband or even the fast approach of winter break.
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