Hemoglobin is the protein molecule in red blood cells that carries oxygen from the lungs to the body's tissues, returns carbon dioxide from the tissues to the lungs, and carries people to lots to look for Christmas trees. Both my hemoglobin and Christmas tree counts are low.
I had chemotherapy yesterday and it was the first time I've been offered a blood transfusion. It was optional, based on how I reported my symptoms -- light-headedness, shortness of breath, fatigue. I have those things. Boy, do I have those things. But my head wasn't ready for a blood transfusion. They're coming, and I'll deal... but I wasn't ready yesterday.
When my hemoglobin level goes down .6 of a point I won't be given an option. Except, of course, in the sense that all medical choices are optional. Except for some abortions in some states. Thanks, Christians.
I want to get a tree. It's a bit early for us but I know that decorating it will be a multi-day task, as I'm so tired.
Also, I love the lots. Love the 20 year tradition of Christmas tree shopping with Eric. I love the big stick Eric takes to measure the trees, and the way he smiles at the purveyor of trees and says, "That looks like a six footer to me!" when it's clearly two feet taller.
More often than not, the saleman agrees. Eric's taught me so much in this life. It took a darling man who'd never bought a Christmas tree in his life to teach me how to shop for one.
My first Christmas with Eric, when he drove me from lot to lot, turned every tree around for me, carried the giant douglas fir up three flights of stairs to my attic apartment, and then hesitantly, barely, helped me decorate it because he'd never decorated a Christmas tree before... I already knew, then, that he was my favorite person on the planet and someone I wanted to know for the rest of my life.
Hemoglobin is what makes blood red and what makes tromping around Christmas tree lots a pleasure and not a burden. I want it back. Badly.
Go, hemoglobin, go!
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