Saturday, February 04, 2006

The Ladies Die

The core group of women I know from my online cancer support groups are starting to get sicker, and die. These are the women who have quickly answered my questions, comiserated with me, told me about their exerience with dx and tx (diagnosis and treatment, for those not in the know). These are the women who have been cheerful and hopeful and helpful.

Now, one by one, the take to their beds. The treatment makes them sick -- they're losing weight rapidly. The doctor says give it another month, but they don't know if it's worth it. Running out of choices. Looking into hospice. Can't walk down the stairs. Can't stop crying. Too tired to cry.

It's the natural progression. It makes me want to squeeze the goodness out of each day even more -- to do what I can, while I can, even if I don't feel great. I don't think there will be any days when I feel great anymore, although I wouldn't turn 'em down! I'll settle for "fine".

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