Friday, July 15, 2005

There's even a Starbucks in this town!

My current favorite CD to play while traveling through large areas of sagebrush and scrub is Joni Mitchell's "Hejira". I recommend it!

Back in the hot summer days of my youth -- Long Beach, CA, where the natives have a hundred different words to describe the color of asphalt -- I used to play a game when I was a passenger in a car. I might be driving out to San Fernando Valley to see Chuck and Mary with Jane, for instance... and as the radio played I'd imagine movie credits in my head. What sort of movie would the song on the radio portend?

I have a new game: what songs should be played at my funeral?

I don't even know if there'll be a funeral for me. In a way it seems like it's none of my business. And who would come? The thought stresses me out. It's like planning any party, I guess, only I have such a controlling nature when it comes to parties. How can I control everything from the grave?

I can't, dammit.

Still, driving along, I've come up with a rough sketch of Martha's Mad Fresh Funeral Mix Two Thousand....

Don't have the exact date yet, of course.

During the fair, Sandy told me how sorry she was that I'm sick, and I felt like it was big and brave of her to even bring it up. No one wanted to bring it up, including me, but there it was.

I told her that I wasn't afraid to die, but struggled with the words to describe what I AM afraid of... and she said, "You're afraid to leave". And that's the truth.

It's a lovely morning, and we're off to Denver, and to the Fillmore for a Phil and Friends concert tonight.

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