It was a bad day in the chemotherapy suite. What was to have been a 2.5 hour day w/ a nurse turned into 6 hours, three nurses, three doctors, walks back & forth between buildings, a trek to the pharmacy, a couple o' stitches without any anesthetic, and somber (but ultimately unimportant) predictions. Enough of THAT.
I'm glad Eric's home tomorrow.
It would be good if every person could live someplace he or she loves. People would still be spread out. Folks love lots o' places for lots o' reason... sometimes because their childhoods were happy, or for reasons that are inexplicable to others.
I watched this video last night at youtube. It's worth watching, especially if you're a fan of the current crop of young, tormented, singer-songwriters. While the song isn't really about California, it did make me think about how much I love living here.
I love the natural beauty and the diversity of ethnicity, cultures, and ideas. I love the beaches, valleys, mountains, ocean, rivers, lakes, and I even have a grudging admiration for the deserts.
The inevitable hassles created by the crowding and the clashing & crashing of people with very different lives can make things hard, but no crashing = no fusion. I love living in a place where people are less likely to be fucked with because of who they love than anywhere else in the country. I love that there are times when I look around a restaurant and everyone's different, and the individual tables aren't segregated. It sounds impossibly schmaltzy, but I really do look around sometimes and think: look at all the beautiful people!
If I had Eric with me I believe I could be happy anywhere. And I know that most metropolitan areas have good coffee, bread, bookstores. And no one in the whole world has to agree with me, and yes, I'm sure that Gary, Indiana has charms that have not yet been revealed to me, and of course, yes, California is full of liberals and demoncrats (it's as if the rest of the country has never heard of the Central Valley) and when the big quake comes the whole shebang will likely snap off and sink into the Pacific.
The whole skewed body image culture in LA is twisted and there's too much gentrification in the Bay Area, and housing is impossible, and all of the roads are too crowded.
It must be clear by now that I correspond with people all over the country. Okay... whatever... I love it.
Now I'm off to the couch and my special, soft, blanket-of-wonder. I'll surf the internet and the channels on the tv... count the hours until Eric gets home... count my considerable blessings... that I found a place and a husband and circle of friends who would take me as I am.
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