Sigh.

I never imagined that I wouldn't attend my own father-in-law's funeral. It just blows me away. I know it's the right decision. I'm tired, and sick -- I have a swollen arm, an infection, I did chemo two days ago, and I have four appointments at the hospital this week. Still, I can't believe I just put my darling Eric on a plane to go to his father's funeral without me.

I sent him with all of my love. I wish I could be there with him. I really, really, do.