I am writing to you from the Atlantis Casino and Resort, Every Player's Paradise, where things are happening. If I'm not ranked first in the slot tournament (so far) I'm at least close -- certainly no one in the first four rounds of the first session beat me. Two more rounds tomorrow and keep your fingers crossed!
Plus, Lisa won the 1,000 credit jackpot on Wheel of Fortune! That's $250 dollars (plus more wins on the same machine) that have completely paid for her three-night-plus-slot-tournament adventure at the lovely, exciting and yet relaxing, Atlantis Casino and Resort.
Also, I am tired. I haven't blogged about it here, because it's not wholly my story. We arrived home from Seattle on Wednesday, and I had my treatment on Thursday morning. AT 5:00 AM Friday morning we drove to Sacramento to be there when my sister had surgery. I am deeply saddened to say that she has breast cancer. I can't fucking believe it. Excuse my language, but I can't fucking believe it, and I wish it weren't true.
I've had this wish before. When I was twelve and she was twenty-four, my sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It was horrible, horrible... I was terrified for her. I prayed and prayed that I could be sick instead of her. I actually spoke the words outloud -- asked God to take me instead of her (because I knew that she would die).
I wish that my breast cancer could be for every other woman, and especially my sister. It makes me think of Jesus, actually, and it just adds to my list of reasons I think Christianity is inane. I'm tired of people boo hooing about how Jesus suffered. Bullshit. suffering wouldn't be nearly as bad if I could suffer for others, in their stead. At least then there'd be a reason for it.
These are my thoughts on Sunday evening.
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