Sleepy

The thing is ... if I felt okay, I wouldn't be all that worried about dying. I could ignore my impending death fairly well, in much the same manner I used to ignore overdue library books and parking tickets.

I have a well developed ability to ignore stuff. Life most gifts, it's a blessing and a curse. It's a nifty trick, though, when trying to live happily during trying times.

I find these times to be trying.

I'm having a hard time stringing words together lately. I don't know what to say about this treatment. Tomorrow I'm getting more blood work done, and Tuesday I'm having chemo again. I guess I'm not going to say anything about it at all. I'm just going to do it. I'm going to do it for another cycle, and then I'm going to reevaluate the treatment plan. We'll see.

I've been missing my friends. You know who you are. You're the folks who've called and written and who haven't received responses. I know you know that I love you -- it's just the way it is right now. I'm a little sick and a little sad and a lot tired. I don't know what's coming around the corner. I hope that it's better.