G'morning

It's been a few days since I blogged. Not much going on around here -- we'be been going to work and coming home. Once at home I've spent a few hours playing silly computer games (a personal weakness) and then I've gone to bed.

Chemo tomorrow, but let's not think about that today.

What else?

I finished reading Alan Alda's autobiography, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, last night. Bad title but an enjoyable autobiography. He drops very few names and doesn't give the the dirt on anyone (another genre of enjoyable autobiographies) but writes in a mild, amused, voice about his life and foibles.

Eric is tout en noir today, and he's looking adorable.

I guess it's time to go to work, which has been busy but calm. AMN has been avoiding me, and it's a beautiful thing.

Off we go!

Home Again

It was a good Thanksgiving. It was good beyond the wonderful food (the food was wonderful) and the fun gambling (the gambling was fun). It was goodgoodgood to be there with Eric, doing whatever it is that we do together that makes life so easy and pleasure so possible. I can't explain it. I'm just the happy recipient of this gift.

Driving home was good, as well. It doesn't matter what's rolling past our windows. Doesn't matter if it's desert or trees or the road rolling brown and black. We talk and sing songs and play games. Today we sang lines from bands or artists from A to Z. Who knew that "D" would be for Dido? A yet, somehow, it was. I would have put my money on Bob Dylan -- or even John Denver -- but as soon as D was called it was all about Dido. I only knew one like:

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life.

Today wasn't the best day of my life, but whatever the best day of my life was... Eric was there.

Grace

It's good to be here. It was an enjoyable evening of gambling. I'm a little bit up for the evening, a little bit down for this trip, and waaaaaay ahead when it comes to love. I have love in spades & clubs & diamonds & hearts. I have Eric and I'm thankful for Eric every day.

Humpday's not nice when you're on vacation.

I'm really just beat. Very pleasant stay in paradise, but I'm slow moving and thinking. I feel all wobbley like a top that's winding down.

Eric is up in the concierge suite, sitting in a comfy leather chair & drinking coffee & reading the paper. I'm ... I don't know what I'm doing. I just woke up, but I'm ready for bed! So odd!

Pair o' Dice

Or... paradise. Here we are at the Atlantis Casino Resort and Spa, Every Player's Paradise. It's not a traditional Thanksgiving, that's for sure, but so far it's been nice, nie, nice.

I'm awfully tired. There's no standing at the craps table, that's for sure. But I've gambled a bit -- blackjack, slots -- and enjoyed looking at Eric.

Boy, I should list some of things that our restaurant is serving for Thanksgiving. It's a very good Italian restaurant here in paradise... not a buffet.. but they're doing a special buffet for the holiday. It sounds amazing.

Well ... not even 9:00 AM and it's nap time already! Ah, vacation.

Day of Rest

Chemo and steroids are pulsing through my system like nobody's business, and I'm feeling pretty punky. Was up until nearly 6:00 AM and then slept for about five hours. Now I have a hankering for waffles and bacon. My darling Eric will make this dream come true -- as he has turned so many fantasies into reality -- and we'll see if it's always good to get what you wish for.

To receive that which you wish.

To be the recipient of a fulfilled wish.

Oh well. I s'pose it's too late to worry about grammar. I bet Tomas da Silva knows the right way to say it! That's how he rolls.

Eric and I are on Thanksgiving break, thank god. We get the whooooole week, and it's weloome.

By the way -- AngerManagementNurse yelled at me! Yes -- yelled at me on-purpose-for-no-reason.

I had to be all super calm about it and tell her that the conversation was over. Then I hightailed it my boss, and to my union, and blah blah blah. I'm perfectly satisfied with my measured response and do think she's a pathetic ol' thing... but I'm currently working on my exit strategy. I haven't got time for the pain!

Now I'm off to play silly computer games and nap. Doesn't that sound like a pleasant Sunday? Thank you, JeeZus!

Date of Birth

It's Eric's birthday today, and as always I'm the one receiving the present. Spending another birthday with Eric is better than anything that ever came to me tied with a bow.

I could spend the next year smiling at him and stuffing his pockets with kisses and it wouldn't make a dent in the smiles and kisses I have for Eric.

People say that marriage is a lot of work, but I've not found this to be the case. Eric is easy, and marriage is fun, although life is sometimes difficult.

But life isn't difficult today. Today there's just me & Eric & a few hours we have to be separated by a couple o' blocks while we work. It's the anniversary of the birth of the person in the universe who has most rocked my world, who gave me hope, who makes me laugh, who melts my heart...

Eric's birthday, and all I can do is feel lucky (still and again).

Oh Sheesh.

So sick and tired. All I know is that a day at work isn't s'posed to be a personal odyssey. I think I can make it, I think I can't make it. I tip toe through the AngerManagementNurse landmine... get mad & have to manage my own anger... think I can do it... think I can't do it...

So much hooey to go through just to have a little cash and distraction!

I know it'd be better if I didn't have a cold. It'd be better if I didn't have cancer, too. I suppose most things can be improved by the absense of cancer and colds. But that's just not the way it is.

Feh.

It was a three day weekend and it went by too quickly and too slowly. Haven't felt so hot. Perhaps I'll feel better tomorrow.

Saturday

Saturday (Sunday, now) has been a day of queasi- & icki- ness, but at least it's just been a day of queasi- & icki- ness. There were only a few moments when I was upset by the nausea. Being nauseated sucks, but being upset and nauseated feels almost unbearable.

Late in the afternoon Eric made reference to how it'd been raining all day. Who knew? I hadn't looked out a window or taken a step downstairs.

In my youth I loved rainy afternoons. I'd run home from school when it rained, not because I minded getting wet, but because on rainy days my mother would pop popcorn for me . It'd still be popping when I walked through the door.

I was sitting at the computer in the office, playing a silly game and listening to the lovely hum of Eric's snoring, congratulating myself on being kinda sleepy and contemplating going to bed early. Then I looked at the clock and realized that it was already after 2:00 AM.

Maybe tomorrow!