I've been reading the archived messages from my metastatic breast cancer group. It was started in 1999, and the founders are all dead. They were articulate, compassionate women -- brave and terrified, just like you'd expect. It was a group created only for women with metastatic disease. There was some bickering about that -- women with early stage breast cancer felt left out.
Inside the mets group the women made not-so-funny jokes about the irony of being envied for their stage IV status.
There were a few women in particular who touched me. I read all of their posts... followed their stories... read about their deaths.
I read letter after letter from these women. They were so smart and so kind. Some of them were realistic and hospice-oriented, and others just fought & fought & fought and never gave up "hope". All of them died. Cancer cells don't care what we've vowed.
In a few years there will be women who search the archives and find the letters I've written. Maybe one of them will follow my story.
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