Another one of the cancer ladies died this afternoon. Her husband sent out an email that Barbara was gone. He wrote that she had gone to a better place -- a place without cancer, or chemo, or surgery. They attended their youngest daughter's wedding on Saturday and Barbara had enjoyed herself. She had been exhausted since Saturday, and today the cancer "won".
I'm tired and draggy and sometimes I just don't feel good, but still I'm mostly happy. I'm not sure that's something that's communicated in these little windows... that I'm slow, but that I laugh a lot... that Eric is still delightful to me... that most days I have fun.
There's not much that weighs on my mind, and I don't worry about the future.
I think, though, that it's time for me to think about what I need to do to wrap things up in this world. If there are affairs that need to be ordered, I should order 'em, I suppose.
Eric and I have had many, many, years to perfect -- say -- our Christmas dinners. But I'll only die once. Presumably.
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3 comments:
Dear Martha,
I am so glad to read that you remain mostly happy
and I always smile to know that you and Eric have experinced love of the greatest laughter and beauty.
Today as I read your blog, it sounds like you are saying good-bye
and I wanted to write and let you know that it made me cry.
It doesnt seem right, it doesnt seem fair, It doesnt seem real, from way down here.
Lots of Love to you and Eric, Sandy
Sandy, it's so nice to read you! I'm not saying goodbye... not yet. There's time to say hello to you between now and goodbye, and I hope that our orbits pass close to each other soon!
I agree with you: not right, not fair, and unreal.
I guess I'm just realizing that if there ARE things I need to do before I die, I'd better do them. Not stuff like... oh... see Paris or something. Not jumping from an airplane. Just the practical stuff which I've largely avoided until now.
We love you too. :)
speaking of ordering your afairs...come down, sit in the sun and bring your alter abled pass to cut in line at Disney world anytime. Sandy
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