The Globe

People sure do think The Globe is highlarious. It makes me laugh that they laugh.

I haven't been blogging very much lately. I feel like I don't have anything to say. I love Eric and I have cancer and I love Eric. You've heard it all before.

Next week I'm having a bone scan, and the week after that I'm having a CT scan -- for the first time a CT scan that requires an IV infusion beforehand. I'm not pleased about any of it. I know what the results will be already. I feel the results in my bones and my lungs.

Eric loves me so much, and I love him so much. It's an old story. You've heard it before, god knows how many times.

Eric was sleeping on the couch tonight, and upon waking he apologized for not being more entertaining. I told him that he's more interesting to me as he sleeps than most people are when they're awake. It's true!

Bottom line is that I just like to look at him. I love him here with me, on whatever terms, just as I've always loved his snoring. If I can hear him snoring, he's alive and he's near me, and that's enough.

People speak of long-term marriage as being "comfortable" at best. They make it sound like an old shoe. I know they're just comparing it to the experience of falling in love, which is soooo wonderful and good. New love is exciting and inspiring and life-altering. You learn as much about each other you can, and as the details pile up it's like discovering new worlds.

But the thing is... even with all of the information that's gleaned from those first years of love, there's no way you can know what challenges you'll face, or who the person you so adore will be when faced with pain, or loss, or fear (your or theirs).

I loved Eric from earlyearly on. I loved him, and I trusted him. But how could I have anticipated how gracefully he'd handle his own physical problems? Eric's always in pain, but you wouldn't know it... and when he does talk about the pain in his arm and wrist, he almost always talks about his gratitude to have the use of his hand at all. If Eric were to complain and feel sorry, would I blame him? Nope. But he doesn't.

That's just one example, but there are many, many, more. There's comfort in marriage (sometimes, anyway) but it's not a boring old shoe.

I know that I'm just rambling...

In answer to the most common questions regarding The Globe:

No, they're not joking.

No, they're not married.

Yes, The Globes were given to the entire department.

(Tomorrow is Friday, thank you Jesus!)