Yawn

I feel a bit overwhelmed by everything I have to do between now and the start of our various summer adventures. I'm also concerned that we won't be able to do our summer stuff... that I'll be injured, or will run out of steam.

The thing is -- we have plans for every weekend day between now and September. I'm feeling superstitious. The univserse could decide that it was awfully presumptuous of me to make plans when everyone knows I'm supposed to stay home and wring my hands and wait for death.

I want to make myself small, so as not to attract the attention of the gods. The thing to do would be to whisper through my days with an expression of bland satisfaction or disinterest. But instead I'm creating all this hoopla, with my summer travels, and I wouldn't put it past the fates to fuck with me just on general principles.

I was tired yesterday and I'm tired today. I have to go to work now and think of ways to act engaged and interested when I'm really already gone.